Hearts of Stone

What happened to me that day,
I am unable to recall,

I've tried it to remember it so hard,
but for the life of me it's not coming back,

All I know was that I was trying to protect,
my weak, frail existence like the rest of the world,

Trying to hide the fragility of my soul,
which lay inside me scared and curled,

Playing tough from the very start,
so that my heart again wouldn't tear apart,

But no matter the distances apart,
our stories will continue to grow,

And in the twilight each year,each day,
I'll wait for us to be together again someday,

When in sky, will fly, the great white dove,
when again I will remember to love,

Truth of Lonliness

This pain makes me feel at home,
there is also joy in being alone,

In loneliness there is no place for trust,
no breaking heart, no emotions in rust,

No one to share, to be on your side,
no ego, no arguments, no groups, no fights,

No one that your heart fells to rely on,
no betrayals, coz you are always on your own,

A dark path, as others would say,
but all of them are yet to understand pain,

Pain is what will make you strong,
relying on your strength when troubled alone,

I thought I needed someone in my life,
ended heart broken, those nights I cried,

I cried for long and cried enough,
my tears have truly made me tough,

My solitude has made me dark and strong,
looking forward all my life to walk alone....!!

Distances.....

Always keep the ones near to you,
in your eyes and close to your heart,

The closer you get to something,
the tougher it becomes to see it,

you forget the true value they have,
and ignore them in a blinding fit,

It's gonna hurt them more than you think,
will take them so far you won't believe it,

They will take it to a level, without a word,
after that all your repentance will be absurd,

They will be closed in a cold , dark shell,
to protect them from the torments from hell,

Your ignorance will return to you multifolds,
as they move away from you without you being told,

When you loose them you will realize,
you turned warm hearts to mountains of freezing ice,

The frost of these mountains nearly impossible to thaw,
their distance from you are defenses so raw,

They will still always be there in darkness and pain,
be there to give you shade whenever it rains,

Like the root that will always hold the tree,
clasping ground in darkness, so sunshine falls on leaves,

But in the moments,  with happiness in your life,
they will always be missing, nowhere nearby,

Barring themselves from your happiness, barring you from sharing their pain,
that is where things, will never be the same....!!

एहसास

इन्कार था हमेशा से, पर दिल में छिपा एहसास था,

आज समझ पाया, इस तन्हाई में भी तू मेरे पास था,

अंधेरों की गहरायी में, उजाले की मेरी आस था,

आज समझ पाया, इस तन्हाई में भी तू मेरे पास था,

मुरझाई चेहरे की आखों में भी दमक होती है,

बहते हुए अश्को में भी चमक होती है,

इतना बुरा तो कुछ भी नहीं इस जहां में,

जिसपे बीते बस उसकी एक समझ होती है,

जो न मिल सका उस के लिए तड़पना क्या,

जो खो गया, क्यूँ उस की कसक होती है,

जो मिला है वो आज नहीं कल जाना है,

उस के लिए जीवन भर क्यों पछताना है,

जो है जीवन में, क्यों न हम उसी में बस लें,

बीती यादों को सुन्हेरे में सजा के हँस लें,

बीते पे हँस के अब को अपनाना ही आस है,

आज समझ पाया, इस तन्हाई में भी तू मेरे पास है !!!

अंधेरो से मोहोब्बत

बस एक ही काम  मैं पूरे दिल से करता हूँ,

जीता था कभी मैं भी, अब तुम पे मरता हूँ 

गुमान था हकीकत की रूह से कभी,

अब खुद से झूठे वादे करता हूँ

बस एक ही काम  मैं पूरे दिल से करता हूँ,

जीता था कभी मैं भी, अब तुम पे मरता हूँ 

काली अँधेरी रातों में दीदार तुम्हारा होता है,

सपनो में भी तब जीना दुश्वार हमारा होता है

सपने वापस न लौटे, इन रातों से अब डरता हूँ,

जीता था कभी मैं भी, अब तुम पे मरता हूँ 

मोहोब्बत की सजा कुछ यूँ मिली हमे, जीना अपना दुश्वार हुआ,

भीड़ में दिल होता है तन्हा, इस तन्हाई से यूँ प्यार हुआ,

इश्क है मेरा सच्चा , अब अंधेरो से मोहोब्बत करता हूँ,

तब मैं तुम पे मरता था, अब इस इश्क से मैं डरता हूँ,

जिन अंधेरों से मैं डरता था, अब उन से मोहोब्बत करता हूँ,

जिन अंधेरों से मैं डरता था, बस उन से मोहोब्बत करता हूँ ...!!!

Peaceful slumber....

Laying in my bed trying to sleep,
Trying to bury my thoughts in deep.

The thoughts which keep me awake at night,
Which make each glancing moment, a tiring fight.

These thoughts are about you alone,
In the core of my heart, they have made their home.

Like the tenant who does not leave my land,
Flowing even if stopped like desert sand.

No matter how hard I try to bar,
No matter how much I run afar.

They follow me like the pain in my heart,
Like the worst of fear which took a start.

All I wish is for a peaceful night,
without raising a war upright.

But i realize fully, I wont ever sleep in bed,
My next peaceful slumber will be in my death bed.

The Dark Storm...

Alone I came,
alone I will go.
There are just those people,
who think they know.

They know my life,
they know my fate.
They know my love,
they know my hate.

They act as if they know me,
inside out.
The storm in my heart,
they have only seen the drought.

The raging thunder,
fueled by their hate.
The dark clouds,
that I can never evade.

So much I wish,
to rise above them, elevate.
The shadows of these clouds,
are my true mate.

The clouds of darkness,
haloed by red pain.
Gazing at them all day,
is beginning to drive me insane.

I know that this madness,
can bring no gain.
But it does not matter now,
all I thirst for is pain.

Its pain that has always ,
been by my side.
Makes me feel strong,
maybe this strength is a lie.

These lies are exactly,
what keep me form harm.
In the chaos of my heart,
faint the sound of alarm.

With the pain I am,
prepared to walk alone.
This storm of darkness,
is my only home.

Hell-bound....

Feel the world is dying,
here I am so alone.
Forsaken and abandoned,
even when I am at home.

These roads, these streets,
are haunted when filled with crowd.
The silence scratches my head,
every-time shouting so loud.

In this numbness of silence,
I stand in chaos of my pain.
Like a demon in inner circles of hell,
dancing in the blood rain.

Can feel my heart,
shrinking and crushed inside.
In the void my veins,
throbbing, giving a fight.

My memories with you,
have now become a curse.
Killing me slowly,
giving pain that cannot be nursed.

A few moments of comfort,
can lead to a lifetime of pain.
No matter how much time,
You'll never be the same.

When life gets worse,
than an eternity in hell.
Scared like a chicken,
Just out of its shell.

In an endless emotional abyss,
you eternally fall.
When biggest pains of life,
appear so small.

It is after this fall,
I will rise yet again.
Stronger than ever,
impervious to emotional pain.

Haunted dreams

Laying in my bed trying to sleep,
Trying to bury my thoughts in deep,

The thoughts which keep me awake at night,
Which make each glancing moment a tiring fight,

These thoughts are about you alone,
In core of my heart your thoughts have made home,

Like the tenant who doesn't leaves my land,
Flowing swiftly when stopped, like desert sand,

No matter how hard I try to bar,
No matter how much I run afar,

They follow me like the pain in my heart,
Like my worst of fears taking a head start,

All I wish is for a peaceful night,
Without raising a war upright,

But I realize fully, I wont ever sleep in bed,
My next peaceful slumber will be in death.........